Housekeeping for Blokes ( Part 2 )

Housekeeping for Blokes 2.

The Quarantine Flag.

It is a complete mystery why women keep such things. When left to fend for yourself it is truly wonderful to find out what junk the female will hoard, it is difficult to imagine why she would keep a yellow flag, used to signal Quarantine.

" The solid yellow flag was used to indicate quarantine before it was made the flag for Q. Also, it's worth noting that display of the yellow Q flag today means that the ship does not have disease aboard; it signifies "I request free pratique," which means I ask that the authorities in the port give me a clean bill of health."

Two of these flown together means " I require health clearance."

Just what the hell was that woman up to ?...... who was she signalling ? ....why ?

There could of course be a less sinister explanation, she could have been a track marshal at a motor-sport event.... but that raises even more questions........
There is reason to suspect some sort of subterfuge by the departed 'lady', the flags will be hidden in amongst cleaning stuff, safely hidden away from your prying eyes.

The flags are usually quite dusty, on no account should you wash these flags in with your blue denim jeans.... the colour will leech out of the flag and turn patches of your favourite trouserings a funny sort of lime green; if worn in public people will take you for an interior designer, architect or homosexualist.

"cat lowers chance of a stroke"

from the Telegraph

Housekeeping for Blokes ( Part 1 )

Housekeeping for Blokes ; an occasional series of hints and tips for blokes having to fend for themselves in a confusing domestic world. *

A search through cupboards will turn up many confusing items, each totally unknown to the male of the species; as someone well versed in the art of survival I will attempt to educate you in the usage of such items.

Number 1. The Electric Doorstop.


I can't explain why it is electric, it just is, probably a salesman's gimmick to sell it to gullible females..... "oh yes, this is the latest, you see it is electric not like those old fashioned etc etc."
In use,the electric cord is looped around the door handle, this allows for the picking up and relocation without the need to bend. More modern doorstops are perforated for aesthetic effect and come with a handy funnel for adding water to add weight to the doorstop; this holds the door against more vigorous breezes; if you leave opened foodstuffs around for more than a week or two, and so need to open a window, look for this type.
The use of this item is to keep the kitchen door open so that you may watch TV whilst doing the weekly washing up.

* especially for Mutley, who is having a hard time of it, do drop in on him and offer encouragement


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