somethingfishy

Nasty Paint

2011-07-19T18:26:00.003Z

A perfectly pleasant terrace of fairly new houses, paintwork fine, won't need painting for several more years...... then a philistine decides to paint his woodwork white.... and spoil the whole terrace...

there's always one....it might have been worse

thank God that stone cladding has gone out of fashion.

the pity of it is that he probably thinks he's added value to the house.

major source of bullshit in Dorset

2011-03-01T19:59:00.005Z

Kimmeridge nodding donkey... photo credit wikipedia

In response to the refusal of planning permission for wind-chimes in Dorset

Mike Cheshire of Ecotricity , major source of bullshit in the county , said:

"It's disappointing that North Dorset District councillors seem set on rejecting new sources of green energy for Dorset."

This means Dorset is still one of the only counties in England completely reliant on other parts of the country to keep its lights on, with no major source of energy of its own.

Mr Cheshire is telling a porky, a big one.... Dorset produces oil and gas... Wytch Farm on the fringe of Poole Harbour produces energy in quantities that make the wind industry's contribution look piddling...it produces probably 7,000 cubic metres per day

Even the little nodding donkey near Kimmeridge, which has been pumping oil since the 1950s, is currently producing 65 barrels per day (10.3 m³/d). The oil from that little well would probably provide as much electricity during a year as the proposed subsidy generators ( a claimed 9.2MW peak output. )

Mr Cheshire would be better off working in the field of methane production by anaerobic digestion...bullshit is useful there.

Who is she?

2010-03-29T19:10:00.010Z

'Nikki' 'Sinclaire'..... who is she* ?

her details on the EU page gives her birth details as

Born on 26 July 1968, London

A search of the registry via Ancestry.com reveals no such person born in England in that quarter of 1968, not in London or any other place.

Sinclaire is not a common name, just one birth is listed in England in that quarter, Neil, in Yorkshire.

There was a Nicola Sinclair ( without the e ) but born in Hampshire, not London.

In a bankruptcy case her name was given thus;

SINCLAIRE, Nicole Caroline, also known as Nikki Sinclaire,
lately known as Nicola Caroline Sinclair,

so which statements are true, name, date of birth ? place of birth, all, some or none ?

How do you check if a politician is employing a close relative if the politician is using an assumed name ?

Nigel Farage asked of Rumpy-Pumpy " Who are you"

he didn't get an answer, neither did I when I asked the question of 'Nikki'.

* What would be the situation under the new 'Hatethinkcrime' laws for saying nasty things about a lesbian if she/he/it was in fact a transvestite bloke called Gary ?

Friday Music... Tuesday

2010-03-19T17:00:00.002Z

Ruby Tuesday.... not the shouty Stones version....
a different take by Melanie Safka

non-jobs

2010-03-16T08:51:00.001Z

Friday music

2010-03-12T20:00:00.004Z

A favourite band of mine; usually it is the clarinet playing of Larry Shields that I follow through a number.... but on this track it's the complex rhythms that the drummer manages to conjure up that grabs my attention.

and talking of conjuring.....

What news today ?.... well in The Land of The Religion of Peace it seems they approve of Paul Daniels about as little as they do Jack Daniels......here

......and we are told that this culture is somehow 'enriching' when it reaches our shores....

...... makes a city 'vibrant' so I hear.

they just don't think....

2010-03-12T09:55:00.005Z

A commenter on Conservative home, following this statement and article

asks..........I wonder if our regular poster "haddock" will make a comment here?

Oh dear dear dear, don't these headline writers/idea specialist have any knowledge of the coarse and smutty sub-culture of our land ?

mMe ?

Comment about a lady's fishy box ?

Couldn't possibly.

These people, with this level of thinking skills, want to run our country. ...

........ be afraid.

I wouldn't piss on one if he were on fire....

2010-03-03T09:43:00.005Z

photo 'borrowed' from The Daily Telegraph

Move forward to 2012......

Good Old British Bobbies requesting that 'unofficial' fizzy drinks are not taken to an Olympic venue.

from here

POLICE POWERS

Police will have powers to enter private homes and seize posters, and will be able to stop people carrying non-sponsor items to sporting events.

police enforcement of a supplier's monopoly ?.... for fuck's sake just how low can the police sink ?

No wonder the police in England have lost the affection and respect they used to earn from the people they protected.

An Englishman in his Castle has a similar story about those you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

And we fell for it.......

2010-02-22T15:55:00.003Z

from the leaflet issued by the Labour government in support of a Yes vote in the 1975 referendum.

and people still believe what politicians tell them......

Man from Fife fucks the economy of a country

2010-02-08T12:24:00.003Z

What is it with people from Fife and other people's money ?

John Law .... Economist

Gordon Brown ....useless wanker

Change

2010-01-07T11:16:00.004Z

Does anyone believe you will get anything worthwhile from this guy ? The change you will get is the equivalent of loose change, and not much of that.

Play the spot the difference between parties;
.... on Europe.... do you see any ?
....on NHS ?
....on Overseas Aid ?
....on War in Afghanistan ?
....on Immigration ?
....on Islamification of Britain ?
....on printing money ?

help out here, my eyesight isn't what is was but I can't see a bit of difference.

Loose change is what you will get, a bit of loose, non-committal change of current NuLab policy to make it future BluLab policy

There is a party with policies that would change things, not loose change,
the full Pound Sterling.

Change!.... the same stupid, facile, wet soppy mantra that worked for a wet soppy President.
The boy Dave has not the intelligence to work out that he is not going for the post of US President nor are we in the USA. The lack of cretins, in the audiences of meetings he attends, who shout yeah ! right ! way to go ! Whoooo ! at every fucking silly trite utterance should have given him a clue as to the character of the nation he is talking to here.
What a twat,

Support your conservative instincts and vote for UKIP, much as I fear five years of Brown I suspect this little man will take us down exactly the same path to the same place, the same destination.
It doesn't matter if you walk down the right hand edge of the path or the left hand edge, time to get off that path.

There is a party heading in a better direction.
They need your help in path building.

Old Christmas Day

2010-01-06T21:29:00.005Z

studious robin.

Today is what my parent's generation here in South Wiltshire called " Old Christmas Day "
so here is a festive robin to mark the occasion.

This particular robin came and introduced himself as we set up to fish in Poole Harbour, he was rewarded with some crumbs from a sausage roll but he wasn't too interested in the food, he seemed to enjoy company. For three hours or more that we were there he kept returning to hop around near us, watch what we were up to and chill out in the chilly weather.
Fluffing out his feathers against the cold he is intent on learning how to bait up with ragworm by watching how Bruv does it.

It is strange how this little bird has worked his way into the British way of life, when I was a kid we all used to go out bird-nesting, seeking out nests and watching the cycle of building, laying, hatching and flying off; we used to take an egg from a nest to add to our collection, pricking a hole in the shell and using a grass stalk to 'blow' the contents.
No boy ever had a robin's egg in the collection, lore had it that a crooked little finger would be yours for life for such a wicked deed. Other eggs were taken as food, moorhens and coots on the local lake lost many clutches of eggs to hungry boys away from home when hungry, which in the 1950s, was at most hours of the day. Wild food, boiled up in an old OXO tin over a wood fire, scrummy indeed.

No we didn't catch anything.

the kick-off ?

2010-01-02T13:27:00.004Z

Will this be the kick-off ?

"Islam4UK - which calls itself a 'platform' for extremist movement al-Muhajiroun - plans to parade through Wootton Bassett, in Wiltshire, in the coming weeks."

The muslim protesters may well find out that many of the same gentle old people will be there to meet them.... but they will have lost their gentle demeanour.

I shall go along, ( to watch of course ) if I get wind of the timing, as will many others.

Historically many improvements to our life have started out in the sleepy towns and villages of the West Country.... The economy built on wool in medieval times, the Industrial revolution in Cornwall, the recognition of worker's rights in Dorset..... not in Northern towns or cities but among the yokels in the West.

The answer to everything,.......

2010-01-01T20:55:00.006Z

42

The answer is well known

This year 10th of October

101010

equals 42 in binary notation.

Perhaps everything will become clear then, including the biggest mystery of the universe, that is, why anyone would vote for that cunt Brown the Ruiner.... and why anyone ever thought that wet fucker Cameron would be any better.

Seasonal greetings.......

2009-12-30T23:49:00.005Z

try
'gordon brown eid message'

a screen full of hits for his recorded message of goodwill.

try
'gordon brown ramadan message'

same thing, straight to the links....lashings of goodwill

try
'gordon brown diwali message'

oh yes, shedloads of goodwill.

but try
'gordon brown Christmas message'

a message to the troops, ( I bet they appreciated that ).... but the rest of us, fuck all.

The great majority of our country can go without our Prime Minister's best wishes it seems.

Fair enough I suppose, he's going without ours.

No Sale...

2009-12-26T13:57:00.004Z

I went to buy a laptop this morning;

Thank you Sir, says the expert ( who appeared to be about 14 years old ) , inserting my debit card into the reader...

Your name and address Sir ?

Why ?

It is required for the manufacturer's warranty.

I just need the proof of purchase you will give me, I will then exercise my rights under the Sale of Goods Acts if there is a fault, who I am is nothing to do with the warranty.

I must enter the information, he says, showing me the screen connected to his till

I noticed that there didn't seem to be a "customer with money to spend says stick it up your arse then, I'll buy one somewhere else" option.

They need one.

I have started my enhanced "Fuck you I'm not taking any more of your nonsense" mode early, it is my New Year's resolution........ I think I can stick with it for a year.

Happy Christmas III

2009-12-24T20:32:00.004Z

Happy Christmas III, that's a Happy Christmas for each of my three sons, one in London, one in New Zealand and one wherever, with love and best wishes....

Happy Christmas II

2009-12-21T22:59:00.005Z

Another crib, this one by younger more enthusiastic types,

I see that Dougal has managed to creep in ( probably with the Elton John-like King, or perhaps Queen ), I do like the unidentified black animal, the mouse and the doily-clad angels. Sorry girls, I forgot to make a note so can't give you a credit.....

.....and this one which won a prize; there is probably a reason for no expressions on human faces, the astonished look of the sheep and the donkey and for the camels being asleep on their feet.....

Happy Christmas

2009-12-20T22:18:00.003Z

A Wiltshire Crib Scene,

photographed at the display of work by local Guides and Brownies at The Library in Salisbury.
This charming and original take on the theme won the Senior Guides section of the competition, and who could disagree...

Thank you young ladies, Kath Caldwell and Rachel Vernon, your work raised a smile, gained the Guides some loose change in the collection tin......... and reminded me that not all young people are the scrotes we read about in the news......

.........for the last reason, a very big thank you.

another tomorrow if I remember

Money down the drain

2009-12-13T17:44:00.005Z

The British Leyland fiasco is mentioned on ConHome

That money was going to be wasted was a given, the choice of logo, very apt

Now then, a logo for the climate change fiasco so loved by Brown, Cameron, LimpDems and Greens.

Friday, Saturday, Tuesday

2009-12-12T09:36:00.003Z

The Friday music appears here on Saturday.....
and is 'Tuesday Afternoon'.

The Moody Blues, first to use a full orchestra in 'pop' music.... The Beatles used classical instruments but not the orchestra. Heard it first in college days in 1967, most will have heard the last track on the album.... 'Nights in White Satin'.

This track an extended version from 1972

Single issue....

2009-12-11T15:41:00.009Z

UKIP are often said to be a 'single issue party' let's have a look at a single issue then.....

Man made climate change bollocks

Party Policies,

Labour..... oh yes, get the chequebook out.
Conservatives...........us too ! we believe !
LibDem.... big on anything to fuck off the voter, so yep ...all for it.
Greens..... of course, goes without saying.
UKIP........... give the job of telling the AGW camp to fuck right off by giving the advisory role to a new member.....Lord Monckton ..........a chap particularly adept at doing just that.

That's another single issue dealt with a bit smartish,, to join the other single issues;
European Union........................................ fuck off, tick
Militant Islamists in Europe.........................fuck off, tick
European Court of Human Rights.................fuck off, tick
Too many immigrants.................................fuck off, tick
Man-made GW/Climate Change..................fuck off, tick

Five single issues dealt with in a sensible, cost effective, pragmatic way.

What else should we be saying fuck off to ?
It's easy once you get started.

A single answer party maybe as it turns out,
but not a single issue party

UPDATE 12.12.09........................... as Dick has said in the comments.

Complete Smoking Ban in Pubs................fuck off, it's for a landlord to decide, not politicians, tick

that makes six single issues dealt with in a sensible, cost effective, pragmatic way.

There's mileage in a Single Answer to Issues Party.

Waiting for God.......

2009-12-09T15:57:00.005Z

Harvey Bains and a dimwitted admirer.

a dimwitted admirer and Harvey Bains

from the BBC programme "Waiting for God"

"Harvey Bains, manager of the care home to whom his ageing charges are merely things he wishes would just die and save on the bills, and his intellectually challenged sidekick........"

As Harvey, forever scrabbling for control in a world he's too dim to understand, he creates a human nothing that Dickens would've been proud of.

Friday concert.

2009-12-04T19:42:00.004Z

some music from The Original Dixieland Jazz Band......... which includes a short clip of Betty Boop

and some Betty Boop...... which includes a ODJB composition

( filmed at my house some years ago...)

( when Eric Pickles moved pianos for a living )

Anyone with one eye...

2009-12-04T16:09:00.002Z

..... could see that if you write in mirror writing on the board, the Scotch will have a problem learning to read and write.

I don't think it's a Scotch person's eye, it's not bloodshot by alcohol abuse.......

.........and there's no reflection of the chip on the nearby shoulder.

from here

If I had a pound for every time.....

2009-12-02T11:19:00.006Z

... well If UKIP had a pound for every time someone says

" I'd vote UKIP but it's a wasted vote"

or

" I'd vote UKIP but they have no chance of winning a seat "

Then UKIP would have plenty enough pounds to fight to get our country back from our new EU masters.

And if UKIP had the vote as well as the pound they would win seats in our Parliament where they could act as an opposition to the fuckwits who want us to be ruled by another State.
There is no other opposition, you have no choice, the other parties are saying the same thing.

UKIP rather likes the "Take it or Leave it" attitude....

leave it, thankyou

Another family pet

2009-12-01T21:49:00.004Z

Another child dead,

mauled by a dog that was kept, not as a pet but as an offensive weapon.

I used to remark that every hippy beggar type seemed to shop at the same place... old Doc Marten boots, ripped jeans, shapeless sweater in nondescript colour, string, dog.... all shelved and racked out in a "Scrounging Scum'r'Us" store that they could walk around.... "nah, that dog's not mangy enough"...... "bugger, that sweater's nice but it fits in places".... "have you got them in baggier "?
Those dogs came off a production line somewhere, the same moth-eaten coat, prominent ribs, hangdog expression and soulful sad eyes, ideal begging dogs designed and supplied to meet a marketing niche. But safe, no growling, no barking and no attacking.

The latest niche market is the chav dog, designed as a weapon, bought as a weapon and used as a weapon.
And defended by stupid fucking old women who say things like " Oooh Staffies* are so good with children "....
No they are not !
unless you think having your younger relatives' faces eaten off or them being killed outright is good.

They are savage killers, bred for generations to be mindless attackers, not noted for fetching newspapers, leading blind people about or herding animals. They are bred to bite and rip, bite and hang on. To this end they are trained by your average chav, you can see them in parks with sticks training them to bite and hold..... and attack on command. Meet a gang of chavs obviously and openly carrying knives or guns and report it, the Police will respond, sometimes they may even respond quickly and timely; a gang of chavs each with their biting machines.... expect no response at all.
Like most people I reckon I could protect myself to some degree against the chav himself, but one of those dogs is a different matter altogether. I've just googled how to kill a dog..... 'push your fist down its throat'.... yeah right !
So, the dog is hanging on to you, as befits his breeding and training; jaws locked. You need two hands, one to hold the upper jaw and one to hold the lower jaw leaving a deficiency in hands to ball into a fist to push down the throat. What next ? It is not going to work.

In a fair world, a sensible world, you would carry some defence... a knife or a gun.... even a club. In the unfair world we live in you just have to scream and bleed it seems.

I often have these animals walk by when I'm fishing on the beach... they most often have a pit-bull look-alike dog straight from "Chavs'r'us" with them, " down on the left, past the naff gold chains" ) but that isn't quite so worrying, one can always busy oneself cutting bait, for which purpose you have a razor sharp filleting knife in hand. Other situations are more worrying, the same knife can't be used in other situations without the risk of serving time.

There must surely be a case for all dogs to be muzzled in public places...

.....and for carrying some form of defence.

* the demented woman dog owner will never give a breed the correct name... they will be Staffies, Rotties or whatever... they will not be dogs or bitches but boys or girls, she will refer to herself, when talking to a dog as "Mummy", indeed most often you can see the resemblance.

UPDATE 3 Dec

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232802/Eighteen-years-Act-outlawing--devil-dogs-killing-children.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232856/Young-man-mauled-death-Alsatians-turn-him.html

Keep Right or Carry On

2009-11-30T23:17:00.006Z

A blog calling it self Keep Right Online should, if it's going to be funny, should change its title to Carry On - Online

A lad of fifteen who in the past year has joined, I think, four political parties and has now 'gone back' to the Conservatives after finding himself in a 'one year experiment'. One of the parties he experimented with was the Hitler Youth, he then snuck in under the radar to UKIP.... who have a minimum age for membership of sixteen. Acting as all children do, pretending to be wiser than they are, he poured forth his considered views and was at first fairly gently led to being a bit more subdued in his advice to members.......... eventually patience was lost and he was advised to go.... only because the settings on that forum are set so that you can't actually say "oh piss off and grow up ! "

He now appears in "An Exclusive Interview" on the Carry On Online site as "a man" saying how dreadful he thought UKIP were and how glad he is to be back with the Conservatives. He a child FFS, he thinks as a child, he acts like a child.... there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at fifteen but why the pretence that it's 'a man' being talked about ?

CONservative indeed, with extra CON

If you want the views on children on grown up matters then Carry On - Online is the place to visit.

PS All the best Andy, try not to damage too many parties as you blunder through your teenage years... why not try going out with a girl*.... much more fun than politics when you are fifteen.

*Or a boy indeed if you settle in the LimpDems

Learning from history

2009-11-29T22:36:00.006Z

Oak tree near Stourhead

History bored me at school, but then we didn't have text books written in the splendid style of Churchill, the English language as it should be enjoyed. I've been reading "A History of The English Speaking People", and stopped to re-read this piece.

Substitute Labour for Cromwell and the British Parliament for the King and it can be re-used.

To the mass of the nation, however, the rule of Cromwell manifested itself in the form of numberless and miserable petty tyrannies, and thus became hated as no Government has ever been hated in England, before or since.* For the first time the English people felt themselves governed from a centre in the control of which they had no say. Anger and hatred welled the stronger because their expression was difficult. The old kings might have harried the nobles and taxed the rich; but here were personages who had climbed up by lawless bloody violations, and presumed to order the life and habits of every village and to shift custom from the channels which it had cut in the flow of centuries. What wonder that under the oak leaves, broad and far throughout the countryside, men dreamed fondly of what they called the good old times and yearned for the day when " the King shall enjoy his own again "?

"numberless and miserable petty tyrannies", yes, that's it;

exactly and precisely.

We will excuse Winston for saying "before or since" as he died before the second coming of Cromwell's Rule

Double-Barrel

2009-11-29T15:06:00.006Z

Mrs Dale is asking for suggestions for double-barrelled names for Tory politicians.

Given that Ken is a great believer in giving up all government powers to the EU and reducing our parliament to the status of a council; how about

Ken Townall-Clarke

double chin, double barrel, double cross

picture stolen from the excellent Mr F M who teaches me military history, gun lore and other interesting stuff, he no doubt stole it from somewhere else but as he owns lots of guns and lives in the same country..... I will of course remove the image if one of his double-barrel toys is pointed this-away

Off the beaten track, track off; beaten.

2009-11-26T20:55:00.003Z

pic from The Daily Mail

"A garden fence was demolished and the eight-ton monster was left with damaged tracks when its driver mounted a kerb and ended up in a stunned couple's garden."

Nothing too surprising about the driver going off the road, he was nineteen and had just passed his driving test. To take a bend too fast and take out a fence is a right of passage for young male drivers, trying to impress his mates in the back.......

What is surprising, or given the DE&S's ( formerly the Procurement Agency) history of cock-ups perhaps not surprising at all; is that the tracks were buggered by a fencing panel. Back in WWII it took bloody great pointy concrete blocks to slow 'em down, dragon's teeth I think they were called. The war might have ended differently if Hitler had not wasted all that effort on The Atlantic Wall and had just knocked up some larch-lap boarding at strategic places.

I wonder if the Taliban has an account at B & Q ?

Update; I am reliably informed that it was the kerb wot done it
so the Taliban will have to build low walls, materials available also at B & Q

Harmans Cross

2009-11-20T12:38:00.005Z

Cross ?

I expect she is bloody furious

Imagine, a very important person being reported to her police service for using a phone whilst driving..... by mere oiks, unimportant serfs, how very dare they !

Don't they realise she is of the 'Legally Untouchable' class? she is an MP for God's sake, and a Labour one at that.

It would be safe to predict an insufficient evidence verdict.

The lamp post would be a better verdict.....it has her name on it after all.

* photo cropped from one nicked from here

Harman's Cross, a village between Corfe and Swanage in Dorset

Next UKIP Leader ?

2009-11-11T21:18:00.004Z

Nigel Farage has tipped Malcolm Pearson as the next party leader,

I wish him the best of luck ..... he will need all of his management skills in that job.
He is not too fussed by the expressions of outrage of the Religion of Peace, or the threat by a Labour peer to bring 10,000 of his mates to deny him his freedom to speak. He is quite happy to highlight the concerns of many people, as such he is worth a vote.... and so is the party.

The cartoon is borrowed from here and bodged about a bit by me.

Sorry too late, bit of a fib.

2009-11-07T12:01:00.009Z

There it is in black and white, the basis of the referendum in which the country voted to stay in, was that we could get out at any time by the simple expedient of repealing one act,

as it says

THE LORD PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL, invited to reply to the
discussion, said it was clear that Parliament could not divest itself ultimately of its sovereignty and was in a position to bring the United Kingdom out of the Community at any time by repealing the European
Communities Act 1972.

"At any time", that time is now, it should takes a couple of days to get the paperwork done, even at the rate the House of commons works at.

Text scanned from Catalogue Reference:CAB/128/56/14
download it free as a pdf file from here

UPDATE

In the comments Sir Henry Morgan said...

BTW - where've you been?

Where have I been ?..... ah yes.

I've been around posting on other blogs and generally getting wound up and fed up with what is happening. I've been quite active on the UKIP members forum and stopped calling all and sundry bunches of cunts in case I took on some sort of role in the party and came out of the shadows and into the glare.......

however, as a qualified cynic and grumpy-fucker I should have realised that within UKIP there are, as in all groups, people who well qualify to be in the 'bunch of cunts' grouping.

So, here I am again, ready to abuse all and sundry and to carry on my crusade against all that pisses me off.

Do keep dropping in.

Blackjacks, down memory lane

2009-04-22T17:56:00.003Z

I have been talking on another forum about Blackjacks the sweets we used to munch on as children, the image is from here.

The modern wrapper is somewhat different..... from here

I wonder why they changed it ?

What I said.

2009-04-22T15:39:00.004Z

Image nicked from here,

Britain, which aims to install about 30 gigawatts (GW) of wind turbines by 2020, will need to build almost as much backup power generation for calm weather periods, an executive from Scottish Power said on Wednesday.

The government is relying heavily on the growth of wind power to meet tough EU renewable energy targets and promises another £525 million in support for offshore wind as part of Wednesday's budget.

But the more wind turbines Britain erects the more conventional plants it will need.

"Thirty gigawatts of wind maybe requires 25 GW of backup," said Rupert Steele, regulation director at the Scottish arm of Spain's Iberdrola, one of the world's largest wind farm operators.

"The problem is that if you've got a high-pressured area, you may have quite a large area where there's no wind at all ... That happens also offshore," he told Reuters.

Britain plans to install as much as 30 gigawatt of wind capacity, mostly offshore, as part of its efforts to source 20 percent of its energy from renewables by 2020.

At end-2008, it had wind capacity totalling 3.24 GW, including 2.65 GW onshore and 566 megawatts (MW) offshore. It is to reach 4 GW later in 2009 and 5 GW early next year.

Scottish Power had installed capacity of 665 MW by the end of last year and is close to completing Whitelee Windfarm, near Glasgow, which will be Europe's largest onshore site with 140 turbines.

Steele said wind farms usually had a load factor of 30 percent, which meant they provided 30 percent of named plate capacity over the year.

(Reporting by Nao Nakanishi) Yahoo News

There is, of course, no money in the budget to build the power stations.

Just what we need, more windchimes.

2009-04-20T08:23:00.005Z

I read that the budget will include a figure with lots of noughts at the end of it to promote more wind turbines. The government is obviously out to get the 'stupid' vote to shore up their 'grandfather used to vote labour' vote.
The map above is from xcweather and shows that not a single turbine in The British Isles, onshore or offshore will be producing any useful power today as there will be no wind of more than 10mph. The forecast for the next few days is more of the same, I look at this site daily as the wind strength and direction is important in my decision whether to go to the coast to do some fishing and/or the the bit of coast where the wind is favourable. This situation of high pressure sitting over the area happens time and time again... and each time the gas, coal and nuclear power stations will have to turn the wick up to make up for the shortfall.

Windchimes are put up by trendies, usually 'wimmin' who are 'finding themselves': the chimes have no function other than to announce when the wind blows, they are expensive, irritatingly noisy, a waste of money and completly pointless..... although your 'trendy' will lay claim to a spiritual gain.

Exactly; wind-chime, wind-turbine

Debate with Yasin, a challenge.

2009-04-17T08:46:00.003Z

Space left here for a debate

Yasin, feel free to write in the comment section and I will transfer it to the dialogue in this post....

.......................put in links to support your argument, like the grown ups do.

Any artists out there ?

2009-03-25T19:32:00.003Z

now there's a jolly jape !...

......from here

Are there any amateur artists heading towards our national gallery ?

Now, if this chap was leader of the Conservatives...

2009-03-24T18:12:00.004Z

I would vote for them again,

......and so would millions of others...... but we get limp, ineffectual, EU loving Cameron

update..... Nigel Farage administers another kicking to the grinning oaf Brown

For those with a long memory of dummies

2009-03-12T20:42:00.002Z

Archie Andrews, a dummy who was given a voice by someone else

Michael Gove

saying nothing.....

2009-02-25T14:36:00.004Z

I posted a while back about the money wasted on the new style collapsible sign posts; a rash of new signs has sprouted up on the sides of the A303 through Wiltshire, Dorset and Somerset.... dozens of them, scores of them. They carry no message that can be read at present but are cunningly designed to be opened up to display a message when the time is ripe.

The road is already well sign posted, directions, road numbers and miles to various places en-route are listed quite adequately.... more warnings of revenue cameras than you can shake a fist at; there are even signs that advise that you should take a break as tiredness kills.

So what is on these ?

My best guess is some government nannying;

perhaps

Buses use this road ! .... are you wearing clean underwear ?

your own suggestions are welcome.

Students of design will note that the collapsible posts will do just that, collapse..... slowing the vehicle enough to drop the nose into the pit they have dug for the concrete foundation. The car should then flip up and over and come to rest embedded on the tree behind it, clever !

FFS No. 938

2009-02-23T10:57:00.003Z

This picture of a bag containing two potatoes illustrates the total disconnect that now exists between town and country; potatoes are planted in the spring and are harvested during the summer and autumn. The potato plant grows from a potato, from one seed potato a plant grows that produces many other potatoes. It stands to reason that a potato must last from harvest to planting season if there are to be any potatoes at all next year. The potato is stored in heaps in sheds out of the frost, traditionally they were clamped in the field, a clamp was made by placing straw over brushwood laid on the field, piling up the potatoes in a mound or ridge then covering with straw as thatch to keep the potatoes dry and frost free; the whole lot was then covered with soil to keep animals and other thieves out.

Someone has decided to doubt the wisdom of this plan and has decided that a potato is perishable to the extent that it can be displayed for sale for just a few days and then must be advertised as "best before" a couple of days hence.

I assume those potatoes "past their sell by date" will be shunned by the city shopper, withdrawn from sale by the city shelf stacker/unstacker and destroyed; I wonder if a city type council prodnose would prosecute the shop for selling "out-of-date" produce.

No wonder we oldies shake our grey or greying heads and wonder what the world is coming to.

Strange ally for Recreational Sea Anglers.....

2009-02-17T23:02:00.002Z

UKIP comments on this EU nonsense here

Tories promote Britain shock !

2009-02-16T12:47:00.004Z

The usual "all mouth and trousers" approach from the Conservatives, fine words but just where are the fine actions to go with them ?

Food labelling, ahh yes, all part of the "In Europe but not ruled by Europe" bollocks from your europhile bluelabour party.

wakey wakey.....

2009-02-12T12:32:00.002Z

UPDATE

To put the above into a context you should visit Cranmer's Blog where he speaks of a muslim peer...........

It appears that a member of the House of Lords had invited the Dutch politician, Geert Wilders, to a private meeting in the Palace of Westminster. She had intended to invite her colleagues in the Lords to a private viewing of his ‘documentary’ Fitna, followed by discussion and debate in true parliamentary fashion. This is, after all, a liberal democracy, and their lordships enjoy the rights of freedom of expression and freedom of association, not to mention certain parliamentary privileges for the protection of their function in the legislature.

But no sooner had the unsuspecting baroness sent out her invitations, Lord Ahmed raised hell. It is reported that he ‘threatened to mobilise 10,000 Muslims to prevent Mr Wilders from entering the House and threatened to take the colleague who was organising the event to court’.

And so Fitna has been cancelled: it shall not now be screened in the House of Lords on 29th January.

UPDATED 12:16 12/02/2009......... originally posted 12:32 01/02/2009

put back at the top of the page, because people are still asleep

Further reading on Muslim beliefs can be found here........"A man can marry a girl younger than nine years of age, even if the girl is still a baby being breastfed. A man, however is prohibited from having intercourse with a girl younger than nine.............. continued

WAKE UP ! Islam is not another religion ' a bit like what the Jews and Christians believe'

....of color.

2009-02-06T13:29:00.003Z

Last night I watched part of Question Time, there were the usual platitudes and outright bloody rubbish concerning the reaction of The Perpetually Outraged Community ( Race Division) to the use of the word Golliwog.

Liberty as usual sent along their cute little mascot, who doubles up as as spokesperson*, Shami Chakrabarti . I am concerned as to how committed she is to 'Liberty' as she seemed to be proposing that 'thought crime' should apply even to remarks made in private conversation.
A woman in the audience referred to herself as 'a person of colour'..... was there ever a more bloody stupid way of describing someone? This nonsense 'started in America' as part of the ongoing sanctification of people who are not 'white'. Years ago the word blackamoor was in use, then negro, then black, afro-american, african-american, afro-caribean ..... I can see no difference in English grammar between coloured person or person of colour, because there is none.
I note that in the legislation racism is not closely defined and it appears that a comment or action is racist if someone percieves it to be.
I should like to put on record that I shall take it as a racist comment should you inadvertently refer to me as 'white'; it can be seen that, using pure as the driven snow white as a standard 'white' it can be seen that I am beigey-pinkey-brownish. I would therefore prefer to be catalogued as 'person of colour (beigey-pinkey-brownish)'..... any other descriptor will send me into paroxysms of outrage and I shall be forced to apply for compensation. In time I hope to be more specific and be outraged if you refer to me as anything other than "a person of colour ( Pantone ref xxxx-yyyy ). The Pantone reference will, of course, vary as the season..... it is up to you to determine what may or may not be deemed to be offensive.

* on proof reading this I notice that I had her down as pokesperson.....

British Jobs.

2009-02-06T13:17:00.002Z

"In 1596 Elizabeth I had already decreed that all "blackamoors" should be sent back to Spain or Portugal as they were disturbing local labour markets....."

So, Elizabeth II, it seems there is a precedent;

we await your decree.

UK franchise available ?

2009-02-05T09:01:00.007Z

I came across this link for Newspaper front pages around the world, an excellent little tool..... so looking up NZ to see whats going on in #2 son's world I find this gem

Phantom Expander's boy racer vendetta exhausts community

4:00AM Wednesday Feb 04, 2009

A self-titled "Phantom Expander" has begun a personal vendetta against large car exhausts in Blenheim by filling them with expanding foam.

Police have received four complaints of "foamings", but the four victims managed to clear the foam before it set, Constable Michelle Stagg said.

A police officer was one of those targeted, she said.

"Police do not like to see people taking matters into their own hands and it can lead to them being arrested themselves."

The Phantom Expander wrote an anonymous letter to the Marlborough Express saying he was targeting boy-racer-style car exhausts.

"I have taken it upon myself to respond to the socially maladjusted Blenheim pinheads that have chosen to have a wide-mouthed, boy-racer exhaust installed on their car."

Dispensary optician Anna Gellatly was one of the Phantom's early victims.

Her car was foamed while she was working in the town centre.

She said she was not a boy racer and had bought the 1992 Honda Civic two months ago because it was cheap.

"That person doesn't even know who I am or how I drive as I don't drive like a boy racer, and it's not one of those cars," she told the Marlborough Express.

"This is nothing but straight-out vandalism."

Miss Gellatly managed to pull out the foam before it set.

In the letter, the Phantom said the "public service" would continue until the "inadequate knobheads get the message".

"It may not happen tomorrow, next week, or next month, but it will happen. Enjoy!"

- NZPA

UK franchise available.... but to include mopeds that kids think sound 'powerful'.... but sound to everyone else like fucking strimmers.

Why the rush on Lords Reform ?

2009-02-03T21:08:00.005Z

Government plans to clean up the House of Lords

The Government is also planning to use the scandal to hasten radical reform of the House of Lords with plans for peers to be elected rather than appointed.

Officials are studying whether the rules on criminals could be applied retrospectively.
New laws allowing peers to resign are also likely to be introduced which Mr Straw believes may be used by peers found guilty of crimes in the past.

There is no doubt that the House of Lords would be cleaned up by ejecting the odious 'Lord' pictured but it strikes me that while everyone is watching Straw's one hand removing dud Lords his other hand is slipping in provision for that nasty little creep to ditch his 'Lordship' and take over from Brown..... if of course a safe labour seat still exists.

UKIndependence

2009-01-31T22:52:00.001Z

Matt, brilliant as usual.

2009-01-20T08:46:00.003Z

Matt, a cartoonist who manages to say in one deft drawing what it would take we poor mortals a whole page to write in words.

One of my first clicks when I start up my computer

His characters appear in The Telegraph but usually he depicts the much derided Daily Mail reader, bemused by the way the world is turning out.

Some time in the future.....

2009-01-18T23:27:00.003Z

wandering through the odd place that is YouTube, I came upon this clip which seems to show a scene some years hence with the American God talking to a future UK leader, George Osborne

spooky really.......

In fairness to the Labour Party, here's a clip about them....
from mervintoot via others.

.......and kiss your gas goodbye

2009-01-09T16:20:00.002Z

Stirring it

2009-01-09T10:45:00.004Z

With a spoon

Oddball cat....

2009-01-08T23:02:00.000Z

Ethnicity... and fishing !

2009-01-08T11:57:00.007Z

This is part of a form for signing up to the new Angling Trust

At one time Sea Angling was represented by The NFSA, but the government does not like people doing their own thing so they withdrew funding from Sport England to force them into financial crisis and hence to join the government, and no doubt EU, approved Angling Trust.

Now that the government is involved we have a bold new approach.... where one must state 'ethnicity'.......... and what a great choice ! ... but no mention of English of course.

Guess who is not renewing membership this year. When will people learn that the correct response to government interference is "Piss Off ....and mind your own business".

Considering the complete balls-up they have made of our commercial fishing industry it is surely madness to allow them anywhere near recreational sea fishing.

UKIP; talking sense

2009-01-05T21:54:00.007Z

Godfrey Bloom MEP says it's time we woke up to the nonsense being talked about wind turbines

Click on the picture to go to colouring in pages, it will give you something to do on your laptop during the inevitable power cuts

Happy new year.

2008-12-31T22:19:00.003Z

A happy 2009 to all of you out in the free world.

To those still here in the UK..... Happy 1984

Let us hope it will not be as bad as I fear it will be.

Touch of ice on the roads this morning....

2008-12-31T09:05:00.001Z

not quite as bad as in this tunnel in Russia though.....

How is the EU shafting us today ?

2008-12-30T21:10:00.002Z

Gordon; telling the truth

2008-12-30T19:10:00.001Z

from these fine people

Gaza

2008-12-28T17:13:00.005Z

Photograph from The Times

Another kid hurt, one of many.

If you have wondered why so many children get hurt or killed in Gaza, just consider, nearly half of the population is under 14 ( from her e )

It is not surprising, that when the whirlwind is reaped by those that have been sowing the wind, children are hurt.

In a fairer world the 'militant' in Gaza would stand in front of the children if he wished to protect them and not hide himself among them.

UPDATE

have just found this image tucked away on an old hard drive, credit to the unknown originator

Santa's transport problem.

2008-12-23T21:36:00.002Z

from here

Tuesday, 23rd December 2008

Santa may not be coming this year. He had enough trouble in 2007, with the Scottish executive demanding all fur be registered as per Regulation (EC) 338/97 restrictions on importation. Then Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer broke methane emissions regulations over Ulster, Santa left carbon footprints on a hearth in Wales and he was deeply offensive to women in England when he said "Ho Ho Ho". Back in Lapland, his elves had to contend with the working time directive, the ongoing argument about whether they have human rights and, of course, with elf and safety. Santa also has his multiple identities to account for as Claus, Saint Nicholas and Papa Noël, and why he's living in Finnish Lapland when he was born in Turkey.

The new problem, however, is far more serious. It's to do with Rudolf, and I don't mean his disability discrimination case against the other reindeer for laughing and calling him names. Rudolf his wild reindeer buddies are dying out in Finland courtesy of the EU. Soon Santa will have no one to pull his sleigh.

Rudolf is on the run because the EU decided wolves are an endangered species. It has banned wolf hunting. In Italy the 500 remaining wolves remind the misty-eyed population of the capital city of former greatness (i.e. before AD451). In Spain and Portugal, the combined population of 2,400 wolves rarely visit Marbella or the Algarve. Even in Swedish Lapland the ban is not a problem unless you are a reindeer herdsman wanting to supply the supermarket rather than feed the wolves.

Finnish Lapland is another matter. It has a border with Russia and Russia's wolf population is such a problem that bounty hunters were called in. Wolves are clever and they had no trouble digging tunnels under Finland's "patchy" border fence. They now benefit from EU endangered species status while they hunt down another endangered species, Finnish wild reindeer.

The EU has issued only six wolf hunting licences in the problem areas. The bureaucrats compare road kills of reindeer (2,500 animals in 2002) to 200-300 officially killed by wolves in 2002. However, in a rugged country like Finland dead reindeer on the road are a lot easier to count than chewed bones scattered in the woods. It's also a lot easier to jump inside a car than hug your way up a tree when wolves arrive.

Oddly enough, no vegetarian carrot-leather shod EU ecologist has been sensible enough to suggest that a clampdown on Finnish drink driving would actually be of more use to the reindeer than endangered species status – which has effectively done what is says on the label and, well... endangered them.

Whatever the true figures, the Russo-Finnish wolf population has had six years to expand since 2002. In Finnish border towns parents heading for the shops have found wolf tracks following their kids' footprints to school. A mother found paw prints leading to her baby's pram left on the porch. Nothing, though, can be done to change the EU rules until there is real evidence of a problem – and the last "real evidence" is church records from the severe winter of 1823, when wolves took 23 Finnish children.

Once again it is the EU's obsession with having a one-size-fits-all policy is at fault. Finland is not like Italy or Spain or even Sweden. Controlling the local and migrant wolf population, and protecting wild reindeer, should be a Finnish matter.

Spare a thought for Finnish parents watching over their children at play, with a shotgun to hand, this Christmas.

RALPH ATKINSON

Some financial advice...

2008-12-18T20:47:00.005Z

I've recently started building a collection of books by A G Street who based many of his stories here in rural Wiltshire; stories of a time when there were men and women working the land, living off it and living for it.

He gives his characters a close approximation of the local dialect.... and often the local way of thinking.

Here's some financial advice.

The clothing scam.

2008-12-17T16:18:00.010Z

How the hard-working immigrants are contributing to our economy. First print some leaflets which are worded to imply that the collection is for charity, say for example, that the clothes will be 'sent' to the third world.... not sold. Rely on the good nature of the English, always eager to help out where they can

Then simply drive around collecting all the bags

and fill your van up by before four in the afternoon.

Of course, sometimes you will have to tell an Englishman photographing you, in your broken English to stop it or else.... and be told that in England we will photograph whoever we like, whenever we like. The male of the scamming species will attempt to take the camera.... and be told just you try.

I do wish that people would use google to check these conning bastards.

SHC Collections Ltd..... ripping people off countrywide.

Another bunch of thieves are these.....

"The Charity Orphan & Community Aid UK"

Another speaker of broken English working hard.

A quick google gives this

Their accounts (pdf) show that he gave £4,224 to 'good causes' and trousered 10 times that for himself. A check with the local council revealed that no collection permit existed for this 'charity' and, on phoning the telephone number on the bag, the council official was told that they were making no collections and whoever it was doing the collection were doing it without their knowledge and were not acting on their behalf.

All this information was given to our local plastic plod, who was underwhelming in his grasp of things, he was phoned and told when the collection was in progress and the registration number of the vehicle: he seemed bemused that when they checked some one hour later " they couldn't see anyone. "

A suggestion that he might use the police computer system to search DVLA to find the registered owner and records from the ANPR cameras to track his movements fell on deaf ears.

I'm sure he thought that they had done their best.

Wiltshire Police
Delivering Safe and Satisfied Communities

(but only if it's not too much trouble)

Brown seals....

2008-12-14T22:25:00.001Z

"Brown seals Pakistan terrorism pact"

well it's a good job the Canadians club the fuckers isn't it ?

A post about posts

2008-12-14T09:43:00.005Z

Road signs, of which there are tens or hundreds of thousands in England, are supported on metal posts. This system is cheap and efficient but now it seems every single one is being replaced by a more expensive and complicated version made from a lattice structure of lightweight aluminium.
The justification for this changeover is the usual cry of " if it saves a single life it will be worth it "

No it will not.

Most of the people who drive into road sign in this rural area are the fuckwitted chav drivers who career around the countryside on Saturday night in there silly Saxos with eight inch exhaust pipes and sound systems that can be heard in the next county. To be frank it is not worth a pocketful of loose change to save these morons. Other drivers-into-roadsigns are the cunts who steal Subarus and race away to certain carnage in a bend a few miles down the road.... these are worth even less.

The Dorset road sign authorities have come up with this......

There is a road junction ahead, as it is on a rise and quite obvious to any driver, they have decided to put an expensive sign there to detract the motorist. If you were to drive into this sign, for reasons which are not entirely clear on a ruler straight piece of road, the sign would collapse as intended.... allowing you to smash into the oak tree a couple of yards behind the sign.

Some of us would not see this as an advantage.

Ninety year old English Oak trees do not yield to Citroen Saxos, nor indeed anything lighter than a loaded tank transporter; it is a fact of life known to country folk but not, it seems, people in charge of signage.

Update.

I noticed today that there is a new crop of these type of signs on the A303 trunk road..... many are placed behind the protection of the Armco barrier which is there to prevent vehicles running off the road.

Is it a case of them having no faith in the Armco ? .....or is it that that are too stupid to realise that they are wasting another heap of our money ?

Still paying ?

2008-12-10T12:54:00.001Z

from here

Wiltshire dialect

2008-12-09T20:52:00.003Z

An example of my native language,
in the tradition of The Moonraker Story

The Bule

Eco toys

2008-12-08T11:59:00.008Z

LEGO : Airport Fire Engine

Get your arse into gear and hurry to the scene when the airport alarm sounds! Put on your riot helmet, grab your special ecofuckwit fighting tools, and zip off to the rescue in your fire truck. Side doors open for riot equipment storage, fire hose unwinds to drench the fuckers with icy water!

Includes firefighter minifigure. Ages 5-12. 148 pieces.

Our Price: £9.99

Also available for soppy girls

Airport Security Police Vehicle

Drive at an environmentally friendly speed to talk to legitimate protesters, mind any newts or hedgehogs as you go !

Hand them leaflets..... enjoy explaining their rights to them !

Includes transgendered negotiator minifigure. Ages 5-12. (Girls and greenies only). 148 pieces.

Our Price: £9.99

UPDATE

Sweetcheeks, a blogworld lolcat in the comments refers to Electro-Kevin's atempts to launch Uri the Lego man into space...... perhaps he did manage to get him into space ....... he has returned from his travels in time and other dimensions

here

Today's panic is.......

2008-12-07T20:29:00.006Z

Dioxins in pigs..... PANIC NOW !

"Pork from the Irish Republic and Northern Ireland should not be eaten due to contamination fears, the Food Standards Agency has said.

The advice follows the Irish government's recall of pork products made in the Republic since September.

Dioxins were found in pigs thought to have eaten contaminated feed on 56 farms - nine in Northern Ireland.

The UK's Food Standards Agency said it did not believe at this stage that UK consumers faced any "significant risk"."

from EU Brussels, 20 July 2001

Fact Sheet on dioxin in feed and food

Dioxins are a group of chemicals. They are polychlorinated aromatic compounds

with similar structures, chemical and physical properties. They are not produced intentionally or deliberately, but are formed as a by-product of chemical processes.These range from natural events such as volcano eruptions and forest fires to man made processes such as manufacturing of chemicals, pesticides, steel and paints, pulp and paper bleaching, exhaust emissions and incineration. For example, when chlorinated waste is burned in an uncontrolled way in an incinerator, the emissions to the air contain dioxins.

scroll back in time to 2003 and we have this, from the BBC

Barbecue cancer warning

A health hazard?

Barbecues poison the air with toxins and could cause cancer, research suggests.

A study by the French environmental campaigning group Robin des Bois found that a typical two-hour barbecue can release the same level of dioxins as up to 220,000 cigarettes.

Dioxins are a group of chemicals known to increase the likelihood of cancer.

The figures were based on grilling four large steaks, four turkey cuts and eight large sausages.

This amount of cooking was found to release 12-22 nannograms of dioxins into the atmosphere.

The researchers also found that the average concentrations of dioxins in the vicinity of the barbecue ranged from 0.6 to 0.7 nannograms per cubic metre - up to seven times higher than the level authorised for public incinerators at the point of discharge from the chimney.

So, there we have it. Burning stuff produces dioxins.... these can, and do, get into the food chain. That apparently is bad. So make sure the pig is fed no dioxins and panic the average moron on the street that he will die if he as much as sniffs a sausage.

Dioxin free meat can then be bought, chucked onto a barbecue or cooked under a grill to produce dioxins.... which you eat.

Am I missing something here ?

Another point to ponder.

Cancer kills bar staff, so stop smoking in pubs, so pub trade goes down... start barbecue evenings to drum up trade.... feed them/make them breathe dioxins.... which cause cancer.

as I said, Am I missing something here ?

Not a fox !

2008-12-04T19:29:00.003Z

A fox has been blamed for carnage at a zoo in Germany,

I reckon though that it was not a fox.... it was one of these....

My evidence ?

the old joke

What's a Shih Tzu ?

One with no penguins

Boom boom as another fox would say.

Chimps/Chumps

2008-12-04T14:38:00.004Z

Have just watched two people buying PG tea bags in Morrisons, clearly marked prices on the shelf edge showed 160 bags for £3.18.... just below a far bigger box of 240 bags for £3.00.

They took the smaller boxes.....

Chumps.

Some people deserve to be poor.

Why purple ?

2008-12-04T11:43:00.003Z

"....later emperors were distinguished by wearing togae purpurae, purple togas; hence the phrase "to don the purple" for the assumption of imperial dignity....."

Moral Maze

2008-12-03T11:06:00.004Z

There is a programme on the radio, of weapons grade tedium, called The Moral Maze.
Several luminaries in the world of boring things are confined in a studio and take it in turns to be tedious about issues of the day which may, or may not, cause a moral dilemma. I cannot say what the outcome of these discussions might be as it is impossible to stay awake during competitive droning.

I have a poser for them.

Two stories from today's papers.

One,
"A press campaign with the headline "The word of God against Sodomy" run by a church and timed to spark a protest against Belfast's Gay Pride parade has been banned for being offensive."

Two,
Man has sex with horse...."Le Gallais, of St Peter Port, Guernsey, was jailed for three years at Guernsey's Royal Court after admitting having sex with the animal."

In your discussions you should make some pretence of allowing that some people might see men sex with other men and men having sex with animals with the same degree of disgust.

As a follow on discussion, consider the following ;

Allowed ?.... yes or no

The picture Round, chose one for a sexual encounter

The answer to the euro question.

2008-11-30T21:05:00.004Z

Britain is considering joining the eurozone as a direct consequence of global financial turmoil, European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso said Sunday.

"We are now closer than ever before. I'm not going to break the confidentiality of certain conversations, but some British politicians have already told me: 'If we had the euro, we would have been better off'," Barroso told a weekly French news programme, referring to the fall in the pound's value since markets and liquidity meltdown earlier this year.

"The British have an enormous quality, one of many, that is they are pragmatic," he said on the panel of a joint RTL-LCI radio and television broadcast. "This crisis has emphasised the importance of the euro, and also of Britain," he added.

"I don't mean this will happen tomorrow, I know that the majority (of British people) are still opposed, but there is a period of consideration underway and the people which matter in Britain are currently thinking about it," the former Portuguese prime minister said.

Barroso pointed to the case of Denmark, another EU state which has so far refused to accept the euro but is now planning another referendum on the single currency. The Danish voted against joining in 2000.

The cheeky cunt, I think you will find that "the people which (sic) matter", the ordinary people, are not thinking about it.

He confuses scotch politicians with the British People

Stuff that could get you arrested....

2008-11-30T13:36:00.004Z

Close UK borders, says 'curry king'

Sir Gulam Noon, known as the "curry king" because of his ready-meals firm, said a ban was required to prevent extremists such as the British National Party exploiting tensions."I strongly feel that whoever are the immigrants here, we better give them jobs and give them dignity to live here before we import some more," he told BBC1's Andrew Marr Show."I do not want a situation whereby a party like the BNP say that 'listen, all your jobs are being taken away by immigrants'. We have to be extremely careful. Some sort of a ban should be there."The suggestion that the ban could last up to a decade comes from a forthcoming autobiography, the Mail on Sunday reported.It said that Mr Noon writes in the book: "We should wait for five or ten years, until all the newcomers have been properly integrated and assimilated into the country. Until then we should just shut the door."We can only accommodate so many. If the room will only hold ten people, hold a meeting for ten people and not 20. It is simple logic. There is always a danger that for the sake of political correctness, or a party's political advantage, we find ourselves filling up the country with too many immigrants who will disturb the balance and upset the people, particularly the young people, of the host community."

If I had said that on national TV I would have been shouted down as a racist...

What he has not said is that unfortunately our problems come, not from immigration, but from colonisation. The people he talks of do not want to integrate or assimilate; their village is not a place in Yorkshire or any other English county but somewhere over on the sub-continent. They demand we change our culture to suit theirs, our towns to be like their villages.

"Immigrants come to a country expecting to change their lifestyles. They can and often do maintain key elements of their culture for generations, particularly their religion, but in many ways they adopt the dominant culture in such aspects as work, dress, leisure, housing and family composition. Colonists do not, they come into a country to displace the existing culture and establish their own. Colonists impose their language and customs. Once these facets are established, further incomers become immigrants accepting the society they enter.

From colonist to immigrant is the dominant pattern historically, however, this process seems to be thrown into reverse in Bradford. The Pakistani and Bangladeshi communities now expect to recreate the environment of their country of origin. They have settled in village patterns which reflect their origins and they constantly reinforce this by bringing in new members from the country of origin. This, in turn, leads to spatial and social immobility, communities which are internalised on themselves and are relatively self-sufficient in social and cultural terms although reliant in many ways on the economic and government resourced infrastructure."*

*from here

Worms

2008-11-28T18:17:00.008Z

William Lenthall 1652

Several blogs have quoted this Speaker's words when he denied the King the information he was seeking.

"May it please your Majesty, I have neither eyes to see nor tongue to speak in this place but as the House is pleased to direct me, whose servant I am here."

It seems to convey defiance, but further reading shows the man to be much like Speaker Martin (aka Gorbals Mick ), a craven lickspittle on his knees before his boss.

"a worse choice could not have been made, for Lenthall was of a very timorous nature. He was treated with little respect, and was unable to control the proceedings."

He had already called attention to the inadequacy of his salary and been granted a sum of £6000,

an early example of getting the nose into the trough ,

£6000 in 1642 was a huge amount of money .... he threw in his lot with Parliament.

His whole career was of buying favour and of self aggrandisement.

In his will, Lenthall asked to be buried without any state and without a monument, 'acknowledging myself to be unworthy of the least outward regard in this world and unworthy of any remembrance that hath been so great a sinner'. The most he would permit was a plain stone carved with the Latin inscription
Vermis sum, which means:
I am a worm..

History does repeat itself.

Gorbals Mick

"Vermis est"

Rats

2008-11-27T11:54:00.006Z

Old Holborn has posted an item about a rat and the welfare industry, of course the rats are doing what rats are inclined to do if not trapped and are allowed to multiply.

Robert Browning (1812 - 1889 ) wrote a poem concerning rats..... and identified the cause of the problem

At last the people in a body
To the Town Hall came flocking:
"'Tis clear," cried they, "our Mayor's a noddy;
And as for our Corporation—shocking
To think we buy gowns lined with ermine
For dolts that can't or won't determine
What's best to rid us of our vermin!
You hope, because you're old and obese,
To find in the furry civic robe ease?
Rouse up, Sirs! Give your brains a racking
To find the remedy we're lacking,
Or, sure as fate, we'll send you packing!"
At this the Mayor and Corporation
Quaked with a mighty consternation.

it's time to send them packing

A dolt in ermine

who pays ?

2008-11-26T16:39:00.000Z

2008-11-23T21:10:00.003Z

from here

"Lieutenant-General Sir David Richards, who takes over as chief of the general staff in August, expressed his concern that servicemen were pilfering and abusing the Army's joint personnel administration (JPA).

Introduced last year, the JPA system allows expenses to be claimed by soldiers via computer, which are checked randomly.

In a document published on The Sunday Times website - which the Ministry of Defence confirmed was genuine - Sir David wrote: "I am becoming concerned over the prevalence of fraudulent behaviour as well as what I can at best describe as 'sharp practice' and at worst dishonesty."

He added: "There are soldiers and even some officers who view JPA as a 'cash machine' and are processing fraudulent claims in the belief that if caught they will claim ignorance and hope to refund the monies with no further action."

Well, why not ?.. it works well enough for MPs

Porkies

2008-11-21T19:12:00.005Z

The government has agreed to release a detailed review into the Baby P case to opposition MPs, a day after claiming it had been told to keep the document confidential.

"The children's secretary, Ed Balls, told the Commons yesterday that lawyers had advised him not to make the full serious case review available....... ........Yesterday there was confusion among officials about the bearing the Data Protection Act had on releasing the report."

The House of Commons was told the information commissioner had ruled that the full report could not be released to opposition MPs because of the risk of identifying professionals involved.

But the Information Commissioner's Office said later that it had not been consulted over the case.

When asked exactly .....who told him?..... which Lawyer?... Mr Balls, who is thought by many to be lying through his teeth, said ....

"It was a big boy.... and he ran away"

I'm not sure you had spoken to any lawyers Mr Balls, I think you were being a devious fucker and were telling porkies.

freedom of thought.

2008-11-19T13:53:00.007Z

Back in the days of the Nazi totalitarian rule of Germany, people who had 'unacceptable' beliefs or were from an 'unacceptable' group were made to wear an identifying symbol.

The employment of this group in the public sector was forbidden.

I wonder what symbol our totalitarian government will make BNP members wear.

I wonder when the 'Libertarian' blogs will start demanding the rights of people to believe in whatever they want to believe in.

I wonder when the press and television will talk of the National Socialist party rather than the Nazi Party...... and use the correct descriptor of left wing instead of 'extreme right wing'

I wonder why the politically correct left cannot see the irony of it all.

UPDATE

"The Association of Chief Police Officers said that all 43 forces in England and Wales were checking the list against names of officers and staff. ."

The list is subject to a court order forbidding publication. 43 forces ignore this, download and publish the list so that it may be checked.

I wonder if evidence obtained in this manner can be used against anyone, would it be admitted to a court of law ?

Why do the police think it is OK to break the law that binds the rest of us.

More

from the The Independent Police Complaints Commission website

Ms Naseem Malik, IPCC Commissioner for the North West, said: “I have every confidence that Merseyside Police will investigate this matter thoroughly. The national policies are clear that membership of the BNP is incompatible with the requirements of the role of a police officer and I know Merseyside Police will act robustly if necessary.”

I wonder if these 'national policies' have the force of English law behind them, I'm sure that the issue has never been debated in parliament and that no law exists.

I wonder how reassured a BNP member might be that a 'Ms' and a 'Naseem Malik' will be keeping an overview, without fear or favour..... of course.

Workfarce

2008-11-18T21:04:00.004Z

Over on Old Holborn's blog kev g left a comment

http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/763630/integrated-working-workforce-development-manager/
I know I'm exploiting a structural ambiguity here, but WTF does a non-working workforce look like?

They look like this

They have a big van, like this

On the way up through the town I watched the two of them mixing a few cups-full of sand and cement in a bucket. When I returned about half an hour later they had slopped some of it in the joint around a loose paving stone, and exhausted by the rush of activity, had taken a much needed fag break.

The place name says it all.

Employed by Ridgeway, privatised, but following the grand tradition of council workers countrywide.

*Old joke warning*

Seeing his 'work'mate stamp on a snail a council 'worker' said "why did you do that ?"
his mate replied, "Fucking annoying thing....... 'bin followin' me around all day.

There is no true peace in the world

2008-11-09T13:02:00.003Z

Today the talk is of remembering the wars that have been fought, the wars that are being fought.

It is all grim listening and viewing.

So, a little Vivaldi for you, just to remind us there is also great beauty in the world..... and that can bring tears also.

Well said, Ma'am !

2008-11-09T08:33:00.005Z

the late Queen Mother was “a ghastly old bigot”.

......After he told her he was back from a European summit, she said: “It will never work, you know . . . It will never work with all those Huns*, wops and dagos.”

A little indelicate of phrase for our modern commentators on the BBC perhaps but the content was perceptive enough.

and speaking of Queens, the Mail gets the headline wrong

*if I were to be pedantic, I would argue that to capitalise the huns is wrong; one does not afford johny foreigner that courtesy

Opposition ?, What opposition ?

2008-11-07T07:42:00.001Z

Prediction.

2008-11-01T22:39:00.003Z

The final Grand Prix result, you heard it here first.

Massa drove a great race but not enough to beat Hamilton on points. Celebrations of Hamilton's World Championship win are spoiled by stewards deciding that Hamilton " had given one of the blokes driving a red car 'a funny look'...." so have deducted 10 championship points.
This allows a red car to win, "which is just as it should be..." ( said a steward )

What shall I shout ?

2008-11-01T08:19:00.003Z

I'm visiting Swanage later..... I have seen that ranker Woss often in the town..... any suggestions of an edgy contempory way of shouting "hahaha, you cunt" at him if I see him today?

The real reason....

2008-10-17T11:09:00.004Z

that Gay Gordon is such a cunt ?

it certainly looks like him, that funny thing with his jaw obviously started at an early age, the photograph explains too why he has to eat bogies.

More cheering up stuff. ODJB

2008-10-14T20:57:00.002Z

The Original Dixieland Jass Band

Quite a few bloggers put up a video of their favourite music, I have a problem in that no video exists of the early days of this music, but there is a bit of the reformed band in 1936

The 'new' polished and rehearsed music of that era has none of the raw musical talent shown in the early recordings made during the period 1917 to the early Twenties. Have a look at this site,
there are .ram files of their recordings; make allowances for the recording techniques of those days, one take recording, poor reproduction of early records... and enjoy jass at its best.

Tuscan Tony has a clip of Louis Armstrong who is perhaps now thought of as a 'Typical Jazz Player", but is wasn't always so. Note the players making up the band, all white and all from New Orleans, and their success came from recordings made in London not their native city.

Click on 'Darktown Strutters Ball' Columbia A2297(3); if that doesn't cheer you then there is not much hope for you, for something a little more restrained then "Tell Me" (Columbia 804) should fit the bill.

If Carlsberg did clarinet players they would all be like Larry Shields........ sublime.

Cheer up ! it's not all bad.*

2008-10-11T14:15:00.011Z

A walk in the October sunshine, with a camera around Stourhead, snapping what looks good to me and not the usual subjects you will find in the guide-books. Perhaps some photographs will cheer you up in these gloomy times.

.
Stonework showing the subtle variation in colour in the local stone, when I get around to it I may attempt a lino-cut print of a detail from this

One of the 'Temples' or some-such, the beauty of which is totally overshadowed by nature.

.... nature in the form of lichen and moss.

Ahhh, England at it's best; traditional parkland, but not, I suspect, traditional cattle.

One of the former owners collected pelargoniums, this seems to be an early variety. Modern varieties are usually florid and showy ( and known by the wrong name of geranium ). I prefer the simple beauty of this example.

Another variety, a bit more to the modern taste but lacks the elegance of the other sample.

The old kitchen garden with a non-scary scarecrow. I suspect it is there more to amuse the children than to frighten crows.... Wiltshire crows are not that stupid.

A few pictures of very old Sweet Chestnut trees. They probably date back to the 18th century and are showing their age. No chestnuts to be found but it brought back memories of swollen fingertips full of tips of the spines that protect the nuts.

Cottages in the valley, much more to my taste than a Palladian mansion.

The cast iron cranking mechanism that controls the ventilation in the Pelargonium House; made back in the days when this kind of thing was 'Made in England' and exported to the world.

A beech tree brought down by recent storms. Shallow roots into a light soil leaves the tree at risk from summer gales when the leaves add to the wind load.

A beech tree, seen by many as a beautiful part of the southern landscape. Seen by me as also a fine standing crop, a resource to be harvested for the timber in the good uninterrupted straight growth of the tree.

Sunlight through beech trees ... and a robin singing on a branch somewhere.

And one guide-book type picture, landscaping at its best; as I was taking this shot an old fellow sitting on a bench nearby was filling a battered old pipe with tobacco... it's enough to make a person take up smoking again... a leisurely smoke on a bench, warm in the sunshine... with this to look at and the sounds of robins and of children playing.......

* actually it is all bad, I was just kidding.

This whole estate was bought by the 'bonuses' of a banking family. Built and landscaped to tell the public what riches they had, riches that came from 'lesser' people, the tradesman, the artisan.

And the upkeep now paid by the ordinary people.

There must be a moral somewhere here, surely

Honour.

2008-10-10T19:30:00.004Z

a comment by 'runar' on Daniel Hannan's Telegraph blog

It is worth reading, it needs a very wide readership.

"Hi. I am an Icelander and currently I am studying in Denmark. I could never in my wildest nightmares imagine this situation, which is upon us. It is amazing how things can alter within few weeks. As I left Iceland one year ago everything was fine, I had been working as a fisherman for many years to be able to pay for my education, and therefore raised some capital, which I believe is almost gone today (it was stored in Landsbankinn).
The little money I got left is impossible to transfer to Denmark because no one will accept Icelandic currency today. My part in this madness was ZERO and same goes for 99, 99% of the Icelanders. It was a group of ca 30-40 persons who are to blame for these crimes, some of them even had a tight relationship with the government.
Today I have lost much of my savings, many, many people has lost everything and face bankruptcy. I am mad at my government, I am really, really mad at the owners of Landsbankinn, Glitnir, Baugur and other companies who may cause the bankruptcy of my nation. But I am furious at Gordon Brown for his use of anti-terrorist law in the UK to freeze assets belonging to Icelandic banks. I believe that he is doing that to cover up his own mistakes as a leader and uses the lowest imaginable method, finding a mutual enemy, and chooses one of the smallest nations in Europe to step on.
I and thousands of Icelanders have lost our money, maybe Iceland will loose its economic freedom, but we will never accept loosing our honor, which is way more valuable the money ever can be.
Iceland will pay their dept to the British people, no matter what. I will quit school and abandon my dreams, go back to my ship and work till my fingers bleed to do my part in paying this dept. Because the people which is to blame, has all left Iceland in their private jets and left their financial crimes, all around the world, to the Icelandic people.
I apologize for the errors I believe are in this text, but English is not my strongest language to communicate with. But I do my best.
Best regards to the English people and I hope you will not judge the Icelandic people for the errors made by so few."

There is no way through The Telegraph site to contact people who comment on that blog, so just to put on record somewhere, thank you Runar. I wish our politicians had the same understanding of the word and the concept...... honour.

Trick or treat US/UK

2008-10-09T08:26:00.006Z

The Wiltshire Police, having no villains to catch, pikeys to move on or car drivers to intimidate, have delivered a poster for me to use. Very nice of them I'm sure and I will use it; on reflection their poster is more subtle than the "just fuck off" message I had intended to use. Like many Englishmen my understanding of Halloween in America ( from where this nonsense was re-imported having nearly died out here ) is based solely on Charlie Brown.
I have an empathy with CB; each of us, if thrown in to a barrel of tits, would come out sucking a thumb.

"During trick-or-treating, everyone else is getting assorted candy, gum, apples, cookies, popcorn balls, and even money. But at every house, Charlie Brown gets the same thing — a rock. When everyone compares what they get at a particular house, Charlie Brown reaches into his bag saying "I got a rock." "

This highlights the difference between our cultures.... in the transposition the tricking or treating of the child by the householder in the US has mutated into the chavlings/chavettes demanding a treat on penalty of having your house burned down around your ears. It used to be called 'demanding money with menaces'.

When I was a child Halloween was remarked on only in the same vein as "It's Saint Whatsit's Day today ", if anyone was inclined to go any further they would obtain a mangold, hollow it out, carve a face and put a candle in it. This tradition now survives only in memory.... and that memory only of Worzel Gummidge ( who had a head carved from a mangold-worzel ) rather than the original custom. The only thing I remember associated with this was bobbing for apples in a bucket of cold water and the telling of ghost stories.

I imagine that in those days to march up to a door and howl your demands of a treat would gain you a clip around the ear and a kick up the arse in swift succession.

The pumpkin is a recent import along with the trick or treat scam, I can see that hollowing out a pumpkin is 'a good idea' .... you don't then have to eat the muck.
I was once given pumpkin pie to eat, bloody hell....
I can see why if you are starving in a new colony you might eat it, but it brought to mind what cowshit, dyed orange, and served on a bed of limp cardboard might taste like.

2008-10-08T10:07:00.004Z

Jade Goody

...... she thinks taking money from the NHS is wrong.

'There are people out there who think I deserve to be sick and to die, but I'd never wish this on anyone, not even Bin Laden ........ "

"This isn't something I've brought on myself. Some people will say it's about time I got my punishment, but my whole life has been awful.

I can't waste my time thinking about these people. I need to think about me and my boys."

so speaks someone that people see as the Queen of Chavs.

for someone who has had shit heaped upon her for an imagined racist slur against a racist she seems very level-headed in a crisis.

Good luck to you girl, my opinion of you changes by the day.

Back to the dark age.

2008-10-07T21:07:00.005Z

Today I thought it was about time I prepared for the inevitable power cuts that we will face as winter gets a grip on our ill-prepared generating capacity. I have been out to buy a replacement wick and find some paraffin. Tomorrow I have to pass a place that sells cheap candles, time to stock up on them too.
Until I was seven I lived in a house that had no electricity ( or inside plumbing ) For lighting we relied on an oil lamp in the main living room and candles elsewhere; the actual lamp is shown in the above picture. The light in the room is provided by a 14W energy efficient polar bear saving light fitting.

I was quite amazed at how little light we made do with back in those days, but one of my abiding memories of childhood is dropping something when playing at the table in the evening and having to leave it there until it could be found in daylight the next day.

The room here now has a faint smell of paraffin hanging in the air which brings back old memories, but when I open a door I imagine the smoke detector will have hysterics, the old and the new seldom rub along nicely together.

The lamp had a certain status in the house, it was NEVER TO BE TOUCHED ! by children. Sudden draughts caused by children flinging open a door would cause a flare of the flame which could crack the glass chimney; that was a disaster of epic proportions as it meant a three mile walk to town to get another. Throwing things around the room was a sure way of getting a clip around the ear as THE GLASS WILL BE BROKEN ! The concern was for the lamp, not the safety of children; our 'wireless' ran on a big high voltage dry battery, the size of two house bricks flat side by side, and an accumulator, a glass square jar containing sulphuric acid and lead plates. One of us would be given the task of lugging the accumulator to the chap with a van who came around weekly to swap a fully charged one for the used. I can imaging the reaction today of the health and safety types seeing a six year old carrying a glass container of acid down a concrete path....

If you notice oil lamps films or TV programmes the glass chimney will invariably be soot blackened. The props people obviously don't think that through.... if the glass is black then the light, feeble enough to start with, will not shine through. The glass was treated to careful washing and drying, and a final buff with crumpled newspaper to give it a crystal shine.

I'd like to be really authentic and use the oil favoured by the Victorians.... anyone up for whale hunting ?

Good advice.

2008-10-07T17:06:00.002Z

from a Wessex Water Publication

Dying villages.

2008-09-29T20:02:00.006Z

Longrider, in his latest post, mentions dying villages, by coincidence today I paid a visit to the village where I grew up.
The post box where I once posted letters stands testament to the fact that villages have died. When I was a young teenager some thirty children lived in the village, now there are probably none.
There are no traditional jobs locally, farming and timber cutting are now mechanised and need very few manual workers. Such jobs as there are will be in the service industries, leisure or tourism which pay so little compared with the salary required to buy a house there. Minimum wage does not buy £300,000 houses.
The village consisted originally of a few private houses among the houses built for estate workers. There were two local estates each with its own building style and houses formed part of the wage of the workers, the houses have been sold of as they became vacant, the workers having moved on to find employment elsewhere and the oldies, having spent their retirement years in their tied cottages, have passed on or have been moved to sheltered accommodation or nursing homes.
The village now houses just a few local workers along with retired business types and ex-military men, many cottages stand empty for much of the year.

There were two working mixed farms in the village, both have now been absorbed into the big estate; the farmhouses now dwellings for those rich enough to live here. The wall of one of the farms dating, I suppose, to the 17th century is surrounded by a stone wall. The wall contains recycled dressed stones taken from an earlier building. Centuries of working and community now brought to a close by changing economics.

The link to its history as a farm remains in the staddle stones, some with their mushroom tops stand as foundations to the small granary behind the tree. Others, topless, delineate the driveway; fashioned with their curved flanks and the mushroom top with a smooth horizontal underside to prevent rats from getting into the store, they now guard the lawn against errant 4 x 4s.

The real Mr Bean ?

2008-09-22T22:54:00.005Z

It really is a pity that the Mr Bean joke was wasted on Gaygordon,

Britain's Future it says on the podium, fucking hell, that's our future ?

It was bad enough back in the days of Wee David Head-boy Steel but this little boy tipped as our leader, for fuck's sake has everyone taken leave of their senses ?

Quentin Letts catches the mood......"he dribbled on for nearly 22 minutes, posing, preening, pausing like some teenage Hamlet. He thought he was playing grown-up......"

"Maybe, inside, he realises he is not up to this task the Blairites have set him. Some of us, leaving the hall afterwards, conceded that this David Davis-style bosh-job was an improvement on the stinker he made to the conference last year.

'Yes,' said a colleague on Another Paper. 'But that's like being told you're a better violinist than Abu Hamza.' "